anxious, numb, teary-eyed

i have a list of 20 things to do and i'm sitting here with tears constantly swimming in my eyes i should start calling them adult-life tears maybe. because 1 situation makes you teary eyed and then you are unable to shed them, and they are just swimming there. you eyes are little pools of...

Rambling away

Hey people Just here to vent, because Sam is busy. nothing imp tho ready? I have too much to cover and I’m exhausted.. not just exhausted exhausted, I’m every-bone-crushed exhausted. But I wont sleep without this verbal projectile,  On Friday me and my closest work friend were almost on the verge of crying. Our common...

Taking a Break from Chaos … and Over-sharing…

Here taking a break from pretty nerve-wracking chaos that’s been non-stop chewing on my life like a camel.  By break I mean a lot random over-sharing to lovely people who still confuse my gender but still manage to understand me more than a lot of people who have known me since birth. So, my baby...

Promotion Story

In december, my good senior manager told me he had recommended my name for promotion. Now it was recommendation of one SM out of many I was reporting to. So I wasn't sure until I see the announcement. Also I got to know my friends, who are my rock, lets name them A and M,...

Sleepless Night

Haven’t slept all night because I was just so overwhelmed and anxious Should have taken melatonin at 12:30, when I had a feeling that’s exactly the kind of night it’s gonna be. And I ran out of coffee… days or maybe weeks back. I’m already a half-eaten zombie already. Wish someone was eating my fat,...

The strong one

What is one “good” thing people say about you, when it always always ALWAYS ends up hurting you? For me it is “She is strong She can deal with it She wouldn’t need it (it could be any kind of support)” And every time you even dare to get vulnerable “you are overthinking, You are...

Sitting in ER (Again) – Reblog

Can we show some love and support to our friend here : https://thisgirlsgotcurves.wordpress.com/2022/12/04/sitting-in-er-again/

she hasn’t been feeling well and I know you guys have the special talent of making anyone feel better 🙂.

Please do visit her post

This Girl's Got Curves

I literally couldn’t take it.

I tried to use my skills and I called for mental health coaching and I took pain meds.

I was still absolutely miserable.

I am in so much pain it’s not funny.

I don’t know how to stop it.

So… back to the emergency room I go.

I’m so tired of this place.

I’ll be waiting here for the next three hours easily just to be seen.

Ugh.

Photo by me.

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dragging and surviving…trying to…

Sick. Very sick. Can’t move can’t work. Dragging and surviving. Can't take a day off. People turning negative and jealous, people who used to be nice. Too much politics at work. Saw 3 yellow butterflies unwell, and too many meds. Now I can't eat anything. Taste bitter. Taxes suck! My family going crazy. Hating this...

Upset. Very upset! 😞

3 days… 4 yellow butterflies!! I’m I hallucinating? Idk I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe God just wants to bring a smile to my face… like a mini-break or something. This asshole manager has been talking shit about me behind my back and it has started impacting my senior manager’s judgment of me. I was thinking...

Hero and Leander (voice)- Reblog

Poetry lovers, you are going to love this!

shakemyheadhollow

I tried to do a voice recording of my latest poem. It was tricky getting it up on WordPress, as it seems I had to make it a video, upload it to YouTube, then post the YouTube link. Let’s see how it came out. Text below.

Hero and Leander (the lamp and the water)

I still walk to that lake, the surface now still,
absence of geometry, ache of tranquility,

a voice but a whisper
soothing, sad, a silver
thorn in the side of love.

What love creates, need destroys.

We put flowers on the table
at the changing of the season.

Then the rains came. We watched
through the kitchen window.
You turned out the lamp.

“I love you more than I need you,” I said.
“Now I know what that means.”
But need, the ache, the silver thorn,
will have its bloody day.

Time passes. Seasons change.

When…

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