Sandstorm and the rain after…

First of all, I got to sit with that new artist boss (we should be giving him a name at this point, a friend suggested Joe from You because of his long pauses. Please suggest something better).

He came on Wednesday and I showed him the work I had done so far. 

One day before I texted him something which I wouldn’t be able to say in front of him. I requested him to take ownership of the document since it’s his idea.

So yea. He said no then I said no. We are still not sure who is going to take the ownership apparently we both don’t want it. We both are like…”you are doing more work”

At one point he said, “What you have written, there isn’t a single person in the department who can write it.” Which is a huge compliment. 


So we sat together for like 5 6 hours and worked on this doc. And I felt comfortable around him no uneasiness or strange feelings. He definitely has a great personality.

Everyone who came to meet him was literally bowing in front of him. And he was with me as if we are on the same level, which is amazing.

He ask me about the switch I’m making, and I told him partially. 

Then I ask him a question I asked everyone who stayed in the same place for a long time…HOW????

And he told me his story. Amazing again. 

He is definitely one of a kind, but too good to be true too…

Maybe it’s just my trust issues.

Well. Moving on. I had tons of work. And I got that horrible resource to manage again

Yesterday my other boss started asking me about the status of the whole project. The team just woke up after 1.5 months.

I updated him on everything I have been doing, until the point he questioned me about the work assigned to that shitty junior resource

That’s how employers push your boundaries. I was working for the whole team. I gave him one task that he didn’t do. And I was being held accountable for him.

I exploding.

I let out everything I have been holding/saying/warning about him since January. He is a misogynist and doesn’t respond to me. I always need a man to give him instructions. Otherwise works is not done.

I have reported about his behavior to 4 managers.

And still, they assigned him under me, and now I’m responsible.

I lost it. I was speaking non-stop and everyone just went totally silent.

A point came I left the room and went to the restroom to breathe.

Came back after a few minutes and continued.

I just said “You will know after 1.5 months” that’s my remaining notice period.

My boss said “I told them already you are the best resource, it’s unfortunate that you are leaving”

Well… if this is what they do to your best resources, I can’t imagine what they do to the worse ones.

Later when I was wondering what did just happen, I realized this was a much-needed outburst. I have been working non stop, I was running on 2 hours of sleep, and they keep pushing my boundaries.

I have never been more happy about my decision of switching jobs. Just 1 and a half months and then I’m gone from here.


Something else happened the day artist boss was here (we shouldn’t be calling him boss he doesn’t act like one)

Our Executive director was rolling on his feet along with the rest of the upper management and Director tried to quote a poem. 

By tried I mean. He was like…what is that poetry “mai kya chahta hun, dekh mai kya chahta hun…”??

And he was looking around. I said “baang-e-dara? (the book that poem is from)

And he looked at me like I said something in some alien language. 

It’s Urdu poetry from one of the most famous works of the most famous Pakistani poets, Allama Iqbal. Who is also believed to have dreamt about the birth of this country.

I was honestly embarrassed about the level of intellect of this department.

So this whole thing motivated me to listen to some poetry.

yesterday, after my outburst, this is what I did.

Listen to poems on YouTube, one after another. Usually not even complete them (because of attention span problems and anxiety) until it started calming me.

It was like a lullaby to a wailing baby.

It was like rain after the sandstorm. I let poetry pour over my tremulous heart until it slowed to its normal rhythm.

I missed this feeling.

I missed poetry.

Copyright © 2023 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

You can find my poetry collection here=>  ss ebook 2020 small


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