anxious, numb, teary-eyed

i have a list of 20 things to do and i’m sitting here with tears constantly swimming in my eyes

i should start calling them adult-life tears maybe. because 1 situation makes you teary eyed and then you are unable to shed them, and they are just swimming there. you eyes are little pools of tears untill they dry out and then the next traumatizing thing happens…

its a sad cycle of constatnly filling tub and then it dries out and you fill it again.

work situation has bbeen so overwhelming.

it’s closing of audit period and everyone is just mad and blaming each other. just yesterday i got call from the most linient manager and he was mad at me. and then i found a lonely spot and sat there for a while. just trying to process what happened.

for the weekend i have a million things to do and i can’t even start because my shoulders hurt with anxiety and i m constantly treary eyed.

i have this weird numbness where i just cant even start working on the list.

idk what to do.

where to bring some strenght from


30 thoughts on “anxious, numb, teary-eyed

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  1. Try and find the positives in what’s been happening. Then look for things you can do to improve the situation. If things can’t be changed then don’t let them get to you. In the meantime I’m sending huge hugs. Things will blow over however they turn out. The world turns and changes….

    Liked by 2 people

    1. positives around me? i’m trying to divert and dilute in along the way so that i dont die of a panick attack

      i have made a list and gradually covering it.

      this is the best thing, there are things i cant fix i have to let that go for today at least until im at a point where i can change it.

      thank you so miuch for hugs i wish i could get actually one from all of you. you are the best. xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You get your strengths from the people around you. From the nameless and faceless people here.The people who care and who appreciate you. Negativity will always be there but is the positivity that will rise above. And deep within your core there is a spot, perhaps in the moment it is small, but it is an iron Will and a strength you do not realize you have. I know this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. you all are just amazing. i feel strong and then suddenly something happens that tests all of my stenght and patience and then i’m afraid what if i fail them. on friday the nicest manager (apparantly) was mad at me because i was late with few things bebcause he gave me shit ton of work in the middle with no support.
      that iron will spot start burning when things like this hammen and it hurts.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I hate feeling so overwhelmed when work tasks seem unending. Chin up, girl! You are a warrior, just remember, even the bravest need time away from all the struggles. Cut yourself some slack. Tomorrow is a new day. I have faith in you.


  4. When we’re overwhelmed, we often think to try harder and harder, but I’ve discovered that for myself, what helps most is a step back, some gentleness, and some grace. Take a break and then come back. It will wait.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Im better than yesterday. I read your comment and tried this and it did help! So thanks a lot. The problem was deadlines exploding in my face at ones. But i did allow myself little break and kep working.

      Got a lot done. Im still not 100% ok but definitely better. Also i kept friends on call while working. So i got easier.


      Liked by 1 person

  5. Cry, let it out, then sober up, get mad, and prioritize stuff on the list; the small things first; you need small wins to get you going. After you knock a few of them, you then focus on the big thing, the big problem. Find a tempo that works; you don’t want fast; fast get’s you in a tight spot, in a dead end, oblivious to details. A mid-tempo is fine; it’s controllable; use it. Slowly, you will be moving in the correct direction, don’t time yourself; just get going, and only stop if you absolutely need to because you must decompress when the shit starts pilling pressure on you. We don’t want to break something, and we don’t want you to break, so tempo and know when to pull back, take a breath, summarize your efforts, plan the next step, as small as it can be, take it, and keep going from there. You got this, sunshine. You – Got – This.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. okay
      cried. couldn’t sober up really, i’m an absolute wrckage. got really really mad.

      and i also did the rest and it worked. worked to the extent where i can’t be blamed if things go south.

      thanks a lot for the support and suggestions and being here as a great friend. 🙂 you guys give me strenght always.

      so for replying late but i read this comment again and again when i was feeling lost and scared.

      thanks my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t fret about it. Don’t look at the problems as an obstacle, but a fun challenge, a challenge. Everything seems easier then. Here to help anyway I can. I’d hug you if you were closer. Take care, hun, and know I am thinking of you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey, I relate to that, and understand. It is hard, but then again, accomplishment afterward feels so much better than the previous successes. One must keep its’ calm, and a cool head on the shoulders. Keep that in mind, always.


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