Taking a Break from Chaos … and Over-sharing…

Here taking a break from pretty nerve-wracking chaos that’s been non-stop chewing on my life like a camel. 

By break I mean a lot random over-sharing to lovely people who still confuse my gender but still manage to understand me more than a lot of people who have known me since birth.

So, my baby sis (let’s call her No.5) flew abroad last night with her little manti (cute little Turkish ravioli, also rhymes with monkey so…)

Her leaving for another country permanently had been drawing a needle in my heart deeper and deeper every day. As I couldn’t be by her side at her wedding too (against my will) this farewell would break me. 

She always felt like my own kid to me, making manti like my grandchild, this little grandma was trying not to have a heart-attack in the middle of a home packed with family and guests.

The moment I hated. She wanted to cry but she couldn’t, I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. We both were looking for corners with fewer people. Couldn’t even hold her and cry. I will never stop feeling bad for it. Why people can’t give space to family to hold each other and stop giving weird judgy looks.

Before that, I went shopping with my other sis (let’s call her No.3) who is visiting from another country and very few days are left of her trip. So she has to check her shopping list. 

The problem, her 5yo was with us. This little cyclone was in a stroller all the time because she didn’t want to walk. So we were dragging a stroller with her and shopping bags. But the moment you leave to look at something she would get up and start running around. 

Also, she is terrified of escalators. I would be already on the 2nd floor while on the 1st one she would be throwing a tantrum, shrieking and crying and my sis would be trying to reason with her. We went through at least 10 such episodes yesterday! literally!

In the end, I told my sis. Next time it’s me or her… I know you are judging me.

Before that…

We are kinda going in reverse but it will all make sense in the end.

It’s year-end audit period. And I do IT Audits during this. I already had a client with all entities but in the middle I got assigned an area of another client to audit. Things were bad at this other one because the guy there didn’t even start. He is actually playing games with management. He doesn’t start until the end and then he declares the emergency and asks for support. So for this one, I was that support.

And this other client had a deadline on Sunday! Which is today!

Yeah. 

So before going to the mall I was working. 

Then went to the most painful shopping trip.

Then went to No.5’s place to see her off. To drain rest of my brain cells.

And came back and started working again…

Idk which part of me is hurting and at this point I’m not trying to assess my health.

On the side I had a severe throat infection I couldn’t stop coughing and it would hurt bad. I had to go on antibiotics which makes me weaker.

So, sickness, work pressure, emotional family challenges… this is my life.

And we haven’t even touched the surface yet. The details don’t make sense to me even. And nobody of has that kind of time.

I will go to clean and organize my room a little before I have to start working again.

Ever seen those power wash videos? I just feel like doing that to my room right now.

Well.

This is it.

Have a good Sunday guys!

…

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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

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