Its time to write!
Its only 2 am. Its raining like crazy
And I’m confused and mad and confused.
I wish C was here. She knew what to say. Damn I miss her so badly literally all the time.
So. The review hasn’t happened yet. Because everyone is busy at the firm.
Too many twists and turn in different assignments and firm all over.
I got to witness high-level corporate politics first hand and its… it’s cold and brutal.
I’m not worried about review that much now because everyone is cought up with bigger issues. Thanks a lot for your support, you guys are jsut amazing!
First good thing. I’m not working under asshole manager coz there’s another project where I’m working directly with partner and director…which is huge thing!
The flipside of being in such a position. You have to be avaiable.
Now every day something happens and they are looking for me as I was on this project sice day one.
So giren the situation, I make sure I’m present at firm.
The other side of the whole thing. We are having really heavy rains, with thunder and all here. I’m not even kidding there are huge holes in the roads. This city isnt built for rains, it gets flooded badly.
Now me being me gets there. Because that’s how I am. If I’m assigned something I will do it. If it’s not offical WFH, I will be in the office even if I’m coming on a boat.
But colleagues are hating me now. I have heard things like, we had to come because you came. They hear “if she can come you can too”
And I feel horrible rest of the day.
And if I dont come, I will still feel horrible for not being there when I was needed.
People tell me you are not that important firm wont close if you don’t go but I dont know… I can’t think that way. I have too much responsibility suddenly and I’m working hard not to disappoint anyone.
Another side of the problem.
My brother leaves early, sometimes he can drop me half way and that saves a lot in conveyance. Just because of this whole confusion I dont leave with him because I will get to firm early and then everyone will hate me.
So I have to wait untill I see attendance and then get an expensive cab to work.
I’m losing from all angles in this situation. And nobody is winning.
Now dad told me weather is going to be scary tomorrow so I shouldn’t go, but honestly what else do I do? We are never given clear instructions on anything.
I’m having this problem. I’m working hard and people say I’m spoiling managers. They literally give my examples now and honestly I have said “dont give my example I’m not a good example”
I told my brother to leave without me and I will see what happens tomorow.
Idk if I can even get WFH. It’s crucial time but then whole firm blames me for ariving.
This whole situation is so hopeless.
Thanks for listening/reading