Totally avoidable rant!

Ok people!

Its time to write!

Its only 2 am. Its raining like crazy

And I’m confused and mad and confused.

I wish C was here. She knew what to say. Damn I miss her so badly literally all the time.

So. The review hasn’t happened yet. Because everyone is busy at the firm.

Too many twists and turn in different assignments and firm all over.

I got to witness high-level corporate politics first hand and its… it’s cold and brutal.

I’m not worried about review that much now because everyone is cought up with bigger issues. Thanks a lot for your support, you guys are jsut amazing!

First good thing. I’m not working under asshole manager coz there’s another project where I’m working directly with partner and director…which is huge thing! 

The flipside of being in such a position. You have to be avaiable.

Now every day something happens and they are looking for me as I was on this project sice day one. 

So giren the situation, I make sure I’m present at firm.

The other side of the whole thing. We are having really heavy rains, with thunder and all here. I’m not even kidding there are huge holes in the roads. This city isnt built for rains, it gets flooded badly.

Now me being me gets there. Because that’s how I am. If I’m assigned something I will do it. If it’s not offical WFH, I will be in the office even if I’m coming on a boat.

 But colleagues are hating me now. I have heard things like, we had to come because you came. They hear “if she can come you can too”

And I feel horrible rest of the day.

And if I dont come, I will still feel horrible for not being there when I was needed.

People tell me you are not that important firm wont close if you don’t go but I dont know… I can’t think that way. I have too much responsibility suddenly and I’m working hard not to disappoint anyone.

Another side of the problem.

My brother leaves early, sometimes he can drop me half way and that saves a lot in conveyance. Just because of this whole confusion I dont leave with him because I will get to firm early and then everyone will hate me.

So I have to wait untill I see attendance and then get an expensive cab to work.

I’m losing from all angles in this situation. And nobody is winning.

Now dad told me weather is going to be scary tomorrow so I shouldn’t go, but honestly what else do I do? We are never given clear instructions on anything.

I’m having this problem. I’m working hard and people say I’m spoiling managers. They literally give my examples now and honestly I have said “dont give my example I’m not a good example”

Idk guys.

I told my brother to leave without me and I will see what happens tomorow.

Idk if I can even get WFH. It’s crucial time but then whole firm blames me for ariving.

This whole situation is so hopeless. 

Thanks for listening/reading

Rant over!

20 thoughts on “Totally avoidable rant!

Add yours

  1. Considering all you have going on,I don’t consider it a rant or avoidable. Venting is healthy. It is self care. So work hard and try to be true to you but also…be kind to yourself.💜

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sorry for replying so late. i saw this comment and in my head i had already replied to it.

      thanks for reading and being so supportive.
      I keep letting it out all the time lol. i can’t even keep all of it to myself and I’m glad i can vent and ramble away since i have seen people who cant…

      work is tough but i try to steal some time for myself. even tho i get very little of it most times.

      Like

  2. I’m also indispensable when I’m working. It’s a miracle the companies I worked for didn’t go under before I arrived, and I’m shocked anyone was able to take my place. I was always early, I always stayed late, and I was on-call for them 24-7. I had no boundaries about work because I had to be grateful they were employing me, right?

    I have a bad relationship with work. It becomes an addiction. It turns out, it’s okay to say “no.” It’s okay to have boundaries at work. They employ you, they don’t own you. I would, however, clarify things with the people you’re working with so these kinds of things don’t cause anxiety 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your first part is exactly what I’m. if by any chance i get home early (actually official time), i start getting calls from different teams and managers and have to resume work at home, like today.

      and i know I’m replaceable at the drop of a hat. Such is corporate world. I haven’t started saying no yet but i have started compartmentalizing and that’s helping me. i wont step back from work unless i see there’s more than work to life, it has to be drawn by me and i have to keep reminding myself.

      Thanks for listening/reading and sharing your exp 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know you will be able to adjust to this environment. Both my son and daughter in law are in the same profession and I’ve seen them adjusting with time. Lots of best wishes for you

        Liked by 1 person

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