Overwhelmed, exhausted and scared

That’s a lot of emotions, right?

So far I just had work. A lot of work. And I was ok with it because I had A2 between me and the managers. So I had less accountability. But he is leaving in a week.

Yesterday a manager, who has issues with everyone called me at firm.

And it was a crazy roller coaster ride.

He got teary-eyed talking about his childhood, 10 minutes later he told me I will be leading assignments and even gave me a resource to train and supervise. And 5 minutes after that he was very passive-aggressively threatening me!

That’s a mountain of expectations from somebody who joined in 4 months back.

Like he is giving me the lead and a resource, now he is going to give me a crazy amount of work and I can’t make mistakes.

Yesterday I was so overwhelmed. But every colleague, friend and dad were very kind and supportive.

Everyone I asked was all willing to help.

I had a mild headache after such a long time.

I couldn’t process this manager’s behavior. I was already warned by a lot of people so I didn’t say a single word. And was numb for the rest of the day.

Today I have been straight up passing out.

I have scary assignments to deliver.

I have a kid to train at something I started doing 4 months back.

And I have a tricky person to deal with.

Any suggestions?

20 thoughts on “Overwhelmed, exhausted and scared

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      1. this makes sense. thank you for saying that! my managers said they will support me wherever i need them but honestly i dont think they will even have time for helping me. this firm has crazy amount of work. and their expectations from me are unreal.

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  1. The best book I read “Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout, Ph.d, gives a very clear analysis of what to do when we find ourselves in situations where others play head games. Some of these head games can turn into outright abuse and make us sick (emotionally, spiritually, and mentally). Please don’t internalize and think you’ve done something to deserve being mistreated. Be as professional as you can, document any abusive behavior targeted at you. Ask yourself what are your expectations are of him. Flip the narrative. Be in control of the situation. Let him know you are in charge; ignore him when he tries to bait you. Passive aggressive people feed off being the center of attention. Don’t give him the attention. He’ll eventually seek out someone else to bully when he sees he can’t unsettle you.

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      1. You’re very welcome. It has strategies that are very effective. Another book “The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence” by Gavin de Becker is also full of strategies that are helpful. This world can be difficult to navigate, especially for those of us who are sensitive hearted. I tend to internalize when something goes wrong, like it’s my fault. Well, I’ve learned that it’s not; just be strong and care for yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. i need to get such a guide against bullies/harrasers in position of power. have to deal with a few asshats.
        trying my best to take care of myself.
        I’m glad you learned not to internize, it can make everything worse.

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  2. Don’t argue, it appears someone has noted your potential! You started scaling the mountain to the top, ignore the aching bones, nor look back as long as you climb; once on the summit and taking in the view, all pain will be forgotten.
    The question is, had you only aimed for a temporary position and a minimal remuneration or something more long-term and rewarding?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In no way i can possess that much potential. my senior with 4 years experience is handing over all his work to me, i have only been here for last 4 months! i have to train 2 new employers and assignments are just been bombed on me. this is crazy.

      i like what you said about scaring the mountain till the top… everyone is saying its good for my furute. but how am i going to survive this present? it’s alot!

      i didn’t plan for anything. my only plan was to be financially independent with a comfortable life. being in one of the biggest consultancy firm just fell into my lap. now i’m just going to flow but this flow is turning into a storm now.

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