Talking out loud.

I’m having an epiphany, so just talking out loud here.

I think, i brought upon the curse of “rollercoaster” in my life.

Sometimes the ups and downs can test you beyond your multiple thresholds at once.

You relive your old traumas and new ones are eched in your mind.

It’s like a huge wave that thrashes on your with full force.

And then it retreats.

But, no matter how big it is and how many times it hits you, it has to go back eventually.

Alot of things took a toll on me at once, last week or so.

There was one issue that’s been bothering me for a long time. I cried and prayed that it get sorted. I have found new hope. I will have to put up a good fight! But there’s hope.

I already have a plan, I need some supernatural strenght to execute it.

Just like almost everything in my life  this is not gonna be easy. Pray God make things easier for me.

So. About the wave.

Have you heard that storms leave the land fertile and rich in minerals? I could be totally wrong here. But that’s what is aftermath of that huge wave.

You are left exhausted and shattered inside-out, but there’s something new in you.


Unbelievable endurance that wasn’t there before.

I never liked the quote “what doesn’t kill you makes you stonger”

It sounds like nonsensical glorification of traumatic events to me.

But hate to admit, it’s not entirely wrong.

It took me years and years to get out of one bad situation or other. My whole life has been a venn diagram of bad situation circles overlapping someother other bad situation circles.

Now finally I thought things are going to be easier with few circles removed.

But I’m still dealing with the rubble.

And now i think that’s what life is all about.

You are never completly able to eraze unwanted circles, and others keep replacing them.

This is how it is.


8 thoughts on “Talking out loud.

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  1. You’re absolutely right here, this is how life is. It is a series of tests/ problems which we have to sort out till the next one comes up. Lots of prayers for you

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Exactly! Life will always have its ups and downs. The thing is we have to just wait it out sometimes. Prayer and that unwavering faith that while things might be bad one day doesn’t mean that the next day will not dawn with promise and hope and the warmth of sunshine. . .Just keep pushing forward. . .Don’t stop, never stop believing in the promise of tomorrow, of God. . .He holds us in the palm of his compassionate hands. . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i know every single word you said is right but it’s so hard to not fall apart sometimes. it’s like everytime we get up, pick up our broken pieces and get on with the day to break even further. i really hope life gets easier. we think we are getting used to it when in reality it slowly kills us inside. I try to not lose faith in God and better times. but all of it is a constant battle.


      1. I understand exactly what you’re saying. This life hurts; I’m not sure if it ever will be easy because there is always another mountain to climb, another battle. Summer actually triggers me for a variety of reasons. . . It is a struggle. That’s where community comes in. . .We are all vulnerable and need encouragement. I get encouragement by reading your blog and other writers, as well. We just have to all pray for peace within our souls, do our best, and look towards tomorrow as best we can. . .Stay strong and know you’re not alone. . .


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