I think I have been internalizing my anxiety or it internalized itself. I didn’t notice until I felt tremors in my hands. Hurt to see, when you have been struggling and remained oblivious to it.
So, I disconnected myself from rest of the world and I stayed in my room to finish reading The Book Thief. I had to cross it off the list.
Little did I know I will be slowly, painfully, injecting sorrow in my veins for hours.
The last few chapters made me cry after every few pages. Only 2 times there were tears of joy, the rest were weak streams of sadness.
I finished the book..yay.. but I couldn’t bring myself to write about it yet. I have to process it and there’s so much to talk about…
I mean…look…
So I went on to read about the author, Markus Zusak and found this ted talk that’s totally worth sharing with you all.
I know we all can relate. Being writer (especially self-published) is like being in an arena and having to deal with tons of problems and tons of failures.
After watching this, I have new found hope for my incomplete works.
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Stoner on a rollercoaster 
A little quote for you, written many years ago, but still as true as the day the ink first touched the paper. I don’t know if it is helpful to you, but it remains helpful to me …..
“Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. there is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there.”
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that’s … profound
who wrote it? reminds me of a few quotes by Rumi.
I have been struggling with punching my chest and pulling my heart out red hot and still beating. i miss that meld of vulnerability and valour in my own writing. It literally feels like I’m slaughtering my finest pulses.
It’s getting hard to catch passing thought and write them.
the quotes you shared is rsonating with what I’m internally going through with writing. It feels runned down to almost water.
i don’t know hows to bring this back, i really hope it returns on its own.
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It certainly doesn’t go back as far as Rumi. It was written relatively recently (maybe about 80 years ago) by Henry Miller. I think he would suggest that punching your chest and pulling your hair out is fine …. as long as you never give up.
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i think i would listen to him 🙂
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I have just watched the video to the end and feel more positive about the failures/challenges along my PhD journey. You yourself is also an inspiration ✨️
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I’m glad you liked the video. And thank you so much for calling the biggest ranter an inspiration. 😊
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😁😄
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