Before I would go completely unhinged, I decided to go out shopping like I used to do in pre-pandemic era.

Best part Sam, was with me.

Somewhere in the middle I stopped to check how was new mascara holding. It was a small free sample that came with something else and I loving it!

I noticed my eyes looking normal (relatively) after 6 years!

I have/had autoimmune. It’s calm these days but my last attack dislocated my one eyeball as I had inflammation behind my eye. It was horrifying initially and then frustrating and embarrassing for years that followed. It took years of different treatment and surgeries to get here.

I have other issues too, thanks to prednisone/steroids, excess hard-to-lose weight being the top issue.

After 6 years, yesterday it looked a lot like old me.

I still have some difference. I still have some swollen tissues behind my eye that can’t be removed.

A portion of my face can’t feel anything because of minor nerve damage during a surgery.

But who waits for you to recover completely?

To heal? To be comfortable with your situation and yourself.

Life doesn’t wait.

People don’t wait.

A time comes you stand up and continue walking alone no matter how hard it is.

Not because you will be left behind. Because you don’t have choice.

It’s not about success, it’s for survival!

And what is success?? Why isn’t it satisfying people?

I have seen apparently successful people being restless and unsatisfied for God knows what reason. I’m a struggler I can never know.

And then I wonder, what’s the point if it’s not even making them happy.


Where were we?


So yea it was nice looking at myself looking normal after a long time.

After falling sick I realized I wasn’t that bad before. Wish I knew that earlier. I took myself for granted.

We only value things once we lose them.

Chronic illnesses leave long-term (sometimes permanent) marks. It takes time to treat, recover, heal and eventually get comfortable with new you.

But once you embrace your scars, very few things have potential to break you. 

.. (1)

Copyright © 2020 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

You can find my poetry collection here=>  ss ebook 2020 small


14 thoughts on “Scars

Add yours

  1. I can relate to what you are saying. It is so easy to not realize the value we have for something until we are faced with managing without it. We just have nothing to compare it to. I am glad you are on the mend, autoimmune issues are so layered and difficult to manage. And, for what it is worth-you have stunning eyes. 🤍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What we are born with, just becomes our own normal. We have to make major adjustments to deal with changes sometimes you just fail.
      Autoimmune is a mystery. I dont still have a diagnosis. They kept treating me to “save” me. It is that layered!
      Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: