Sometimes I want to pick rocks and pelt myself

Or bring down stars and scratch myself with its edges

Sometimes I really wish sky would tear apart and suck me up

Or earth would crack open and gulp me down

Some days I don’t want to exist

Some days this seems like only thing that can rid me of this pain

Some days the trauma burns all of my happiness combined

To ashes, like it never existed

Like I have never been happy, I never will be

And I never can..

Some days I wonder why do I even exist

What a shitty way to balance out all the joy in world

By putting me against it in the balance

And guess what, this is only place where I win.

I win at misery and despair.


19 thoughts on “hurt

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  1. I’ve been down in that dark tunnel, unfortunately, as well. Just know that there is light at the end of that tunnel and that you are loved by God. It doesn’t feel like it at the moment. I can relate, but just trust that you are loved and there is hope and there is light. I am praying for you. May God bless you and keep his hand upon you and wipe away your tears. Sending love and prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel like this a lot too. Doing activities I enjoy seems to help and I work on it everyday but I could be the happiest person in the world for a couple hours and the next something so little or nothing at all makes me feel like this. Just know there are people that care about you! Hopefully this community will help you as it helps me.

    Liked by 1 person

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