Sometimes I want to pick rocks and pelt myself
Or bring down stars and scratch myself with its edges
Sometimes I really wish sky would tear apart and suck me up
Or earth would crack open and gulp me down
Some days I don’t want to exist
Some days this seems like only thing that can rid me of this pain
Some days the trauma burns all of my happiness combined
To ashes, like it never existed
Like I have never been happy, I never will be
And I never can..
Some days I wonder why do I even exist
What a shitty way to balance out all the joy in world
By putting me against it in the balance
And guess what, this is only place where I win.
I win at misery and despair.
Stoner on a rollercoaster 
Should I like this. Is it how you are feeling? Sometimes I feel like this too. I think people sometimes feel deeply sad. But it’s not always like that. Sending big and gentle hugs.
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Having a really hard day. Sometimes your pain just wins no matter what you do.
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I know, but it won’t always. On balance you are the winner not it xxx
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I’m tired 😭
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Sending hugs, try and rest xxxx lots of love
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I’m trying to just keep myself busy. i can’t rest my mind wanders off..
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Oh, I hope that is helping. Can you try doing some breathing techniques like mindfulness? Concentrating on your breath in and out? I don’t always remember to do it but I’ve found it helps even for five minutes….
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I’ve been down in that dark tunnel, unfortunately, as well. Just know that there is light at the end of that tunnel and that you are loved by God. It doesn’t feel like it at the moment. I can relate, but just trust that you are loved and there is hope and there is light. I am praying for you. May God bless you and keep his hand upon you and wipe away your tears. Sending love and prayers.
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i know there is light in the end but sometimes it feels its actually ..the end..
I’m not getting to that light in this life. i feel stuck in the tunnel all the time.
Thanks for prayers means a lot to me.
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I will continue to pray for you. Know that you are loved. Blessings always.
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“Sometimes I really wish sky would tear apart” – I hear you on that. Sending wellness your way . . .
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Thank you
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Hope my review was ok… ❤
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Thank you so much for doing this, i can’t find it tho. where have you written it?
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I am going to hold my hands up and admit that know I am not very good at reviews. It’s a work in progress for me. I published this on Saturday:
https://crushedcaramel.wordpress.com/2020/11/21/swinging-sanity/
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I’m crying..
This is just..im speechless.
The whole thing about book and blog, i mean i don’t have words.
Thank you so much!
This literally means the world to me, i am deeply moved. Thank you!
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❤
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I feel like this a lot too. Doing activities I enjoy seems to help and I work on it everyday but I could be the happiest person in the world for a couple hours and the next something so little or nothing at all makes me feel like this. Just know there are people that care about you! Hopefully this community will help you as it helps me.
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yea feels like you are on an intense rollercoaster ride.
This community is the most amazing group of people i have ever known.
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