Tragedy artist rambling

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I am circling in that loop of honor we call self-doubt, again!

Apparently self pep talk isn’t working. And peers pep talk isn’t working either.

I questioned my own decision and then answered them as if I am talking to a mirror.

Took hours, days coaxing myself into believing “it is ok”

There’s a problem with options, they can overwhelmed you pretty fast. And for anxiety riddled squirrel I’m, it threw me into hamster wheel.

I once again cradled my vulnerability and started making lists.

“We have time. We are stronger that before. We will find a way. We have come this far we will take care of the rest too.”

I tell all my friends and a foe (me).

Lists started with 5 different entirely segments of my own life.. then they all are filling up pages at the lightening speed.

Where do I begin.

I picked one task, spent whole day sticking my eyeballs on screen and failed..again..

Have you ever tried a hundred times to make a simple thing possible and then failed?? I am a platinum member of that club.

The attempts don’t exhaust you, not getting the result does.

I left everything and laid down intentionally clouding my mind so that I don’t see the world around me. And then realized I haven’t been wearing my glasses in last 10 days and it has started giving me headache now.

I looked for my glasses.

Then I looked for my art supplies. This is so weird I forgot where I kept my charcoal willow sticks.

And now we begin our tragedy artist thing we do.

No plans, no reference, nothing on my mind.

Let’s see where it goes.


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Copyright © 2020 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.


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