Tragedy artist rambling

Continued to https://stoneronarollercoaster.com/2020/07/03/tragedy-artist-rambling-part-2/

I am circling in that loop of honor we call self-doubt, again!

Apparently self pep talk isn’t working. And peers pep talk isn’t working either.

I questioned my own decision and then answered them as if I am talking to a mirror.

Took hours, days coaxing myself into believing “it is ok”

There’s a problem with options, they can overwhelmed you pretty fast. And for anxiety riddled squirrel I’m, it threw me into hamster wheel.

I once again cradled my vulnerability and started making lists.

“We have time. We are stronger that before. We will find a way. We have come this far we will take care of the rest too.”

I tell all my friends and a foe (me).

Lists started with 5 different entirely segments of my own life.. then they all are filling up pages at the lightening speed.

Where do I begin.

I picked one task, spent whole day sticking my eyeballs on screen and failed..again..

Have you ever tried a hundred times to make a simple thing possible and then failed?? I am a platinum member of that club.

The attempts don’t exhaust you, not getting the result does.

I left everything and laid down intentionally clouding my mind so that I don’t see the world around me. And then realized I haven’t been wearing my glasses in last 10 days and it has started giving me headache now.

I looked for my glasses.

Then I looked for my art supplies. This is so weird I forgot where I kept my charcoal willow sticks.

And now we begin our tragedy artist thing we do.

No plans, no reference, nothing on my mind.

Let’s see where it goes.

Continued to https://stoneronarollercoaster.com/2020/07/03/tragedy-artist-rambling-part-2/

….

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.