This october is getting too unbearable for me.
First of all a note for potential employers: skip this poem, just dark times..
So, this oct is probably doing to drain every drop of mental and emotional energy in me.
Today I just randomly slept for an hour and I know these naps very well. These are depression naps. I don’t know medical terms but when I’m mentally traumatize I can just suddenly fall asleep. Maybe just mental exhaustion.
I have too many reasons to hate this month. I wish I could go in hibernation and come back in November…but when have life been that kind?
Work pressures and problems, family, finances, commitments, it’s like everything is like that.
Today a colleague correctly pointed right now it’s me feeling numbness, the world is rotating on it’s own pace. It my mind that’s frozen.
Well.
I have written a poem about October in my book. It’s last poem of swinging sanity.
But I wrote something else.
Calling it poetry would be blasphemy.
So just calling it something..
Here it is..
When it’s october
I resort to all black attire
Like I’m wearing a shadow
My glasses get bigger
Maybe to hide something
Something painful
My heart feels tons heavier
With the weight of memories
I no longer feel the weather
There’s a constant chill in air
A mild yet biting chill
I give up on my appearance
As if nothing matters
As if I don’t exist
I stop caring about people
And what people think of me
My chest tightens
The lump in my throat hardens
And every strand of my hair
Turns into fine needles
There’s no escape
When your own body
Becomes your torture cell
Funny,
When the colour palette of your life
Suddenly drops to muddy grey
And there’s no place of any colour
You just wait
And stare at the clocks
Hear their tick tocks
And wait for time to pass
Second by second
Minute by minute
Day by day
Untill this dark month is over..
…
…
Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental HealthAwareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.
Copyright © 2019 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved
…
Here’s the link to my debut poetry collection => Swinging Sanity
Here’s the link to my post about the book –All About Swinging Sanity
The tick tock of October is more than half over. Hang onto the minute and hour hands of the clock, like an investigator chasing spies who ends up stuck in the Big Ben clock. You will escape. Xxx best wishes and hugs
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I wish I could disappear.. I don’t think escape is possible.
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Oh I’m sorry, I wish I could help. X
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im better now. thank you so much
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Good to hear x
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Please forgive me, but reread the last line.
Does it say, “Dark Moth”?
Good Poem. October is almost done; you can do this.
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No..it had to be month 😂
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Bro.
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Asma!! I miss u man 😞
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I miss you too, lotsss!!!and this place too
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how’s life ?
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Life is amazing but quite hectic, trying to get a hang of adulting and only now able to achieve a semblance of normalcy.. kaise karletey ho ye sab?😂so so deee-feeee-culttt
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Bus mat poocho nuts bolts gir k spring nikal aingey kisi din 😭
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Mere toh kabke nikal bhi gaye😂 mazaa bhi aata hai lekin thoda thoda, bas shayari aur kitabon se saath coffee ke liye kuch waqt miljayen, so life toh matlab set hai😂
On a serious note though, take care of your health, nuts bolts ko tight se band rakhein😋
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wah wah..shairi kitabain or coffee. yahan to coffee peeti hon werna desk pe hi so jaongi kisi din.
yar tool box bhi to nai mil raha lol
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Milega milega, let’s be optimistic..aur jab milta hai toh hamey bhi bhejdena
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Ahahha sai hai!
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Prayers for healing and comfort.
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thank you so much
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You are such a wonderful poet. . . stay strong. . .
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Thanks jerry..
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This is such a heart-wrenching verse. Whatever it is that has cast October as your days of doom,remember that each dark period in one’s life passes. Hopefully, November will bring the sunlight back into your life-just ten more days.
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i really hope so. counting days..
its almost over n im still here so there’s hope..
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The transition from fall to winter has always wreaked havoc on my mental health. I thought your poem was quite good and accurately captures the essence of depression. Sending you a virtual hug.
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i hate this weather it hurt my muscles. i dont know it just makes me so lethargic. i just want to go in hibernation for at like 2 3 months.
thanks. *hug*
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I hear you.💖
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🙂
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I feel this, these words daily. I’m sorry for your pain.
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I m sorry.. hope things get better for all us
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💙✨
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