Emptiness – take 4

It’s my fourth attempt to fill this space with nothing but blankness.

Not that I didn’t have words. There are 3 horrendous and long but empty drafts.

So I chose not to post.

I have been having this feeling since weeks.

I said having, not battling, not suffering, just having.

I would do tons of work and feel I didn’t do enough.

I wasn’t anxious.

I wasn’t sad or upset or depressed.

I was nothing.

Then I tried to tell my friends.

And they understood. And made me understand what I was feeling but couldn’t process.

They told me I have been constantly going through shit for so long that now, when ik in a better calmer place my system is confused.

My mind doesn’t know what to do.

Even my body can’t come to terms with the fact that trauma element is gone.

This is so confusing but made total sense when they explained to me.

Problem – emptiness

Solution – time

That’s what they said. It’s a gaint hole. It’s going to take time to fill.

It’s like a tumor being removed. You can expect your body to immediately go back to it’s old form, even if it was a tumor!

Life feels like a bad joke at times.

That’s all.

Just had to let it out.

Have you guys been in such a position? How did you deal with it?

I would love to know.

..

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental HealthAwareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

Copyright © 2019 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

Here’s the link to my debut poetry collection => Swinging Sanity

Here’s the link to my post about the book –All About Swinging Sanity

22 thoughts on “Emptiness – take 4

      1. Its hard to explain. But I think you can get past it eventually. I almost think you have to fool yourself into thinking its OK. I don’t know how to explain. Can you go for a walk or listen to your favourite music? Drawing helps me. Just allowing time to pass while you immerse yourself in an activity that allows time to flow. Does this make any sense at all…?

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      2. it does!
        you know i think i have started to worry about why i’m not having that problem anymore. it sounds stupid but i’m unintentionally doing it i guess. you are right i need to tell myself it’s ok. there is life without trauma, and it’s fine. normalcy can be so hard to accept, it sounds like a joke.

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      3. My husband worries all the time. If there isn’t anything to worry about he listens to the news then finds something to worry about. He used to be in a religion that thought the world was ending. The effect is to think everything will go wrong constantly. Hard to deal with x but I try and help him x

        Liked by 1 person

      4. ahahah oh God my dad does that too! he literally sounds like a translator of TV. i mean when i call him its like i have called a news channel.
        honestly i have that too. it’s gotten better now but there came a point if someone wouldnt reply soon i would imagine the worst. it happens when life is tough on you. you lose hope.
        i know you are an amazing wife xx

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  1. It’s real, both on emotional levels but some experience it with physical traumas as well. Time is the answer and actively embracing your new normal. When Trauma becomes the norm of our existance we become accustomed, forgetting what it was like to live without it. But, with time, we learn to recognize, appreciate and embrace our lives without it. in time you will bloom..

    Liked by 1 person

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