Needed to speak.

I am trying to write something but I can’t

We look up to our fathers for unconditional strong source of support. As long as they are there we believe nothing can go wrong with us.

It’s painful when tables turn. We love to be there for our parents but when they are getting weaker it hurts.

I am going to see my dad soon and be with him for some time.

And after 7 months we have started to talk about his mental health.

Today, first time he used the word “bipolar”

He told me “your brother hit the breaks hard and that scared me, I think its age or maybe my condition” and I didn’t know how to respond.

My shoulders stiffened.

There’s tons of detail in this whole thing but all irrelevant. And I don’t want people to think I am doing it for sympathy or something.

I started mental health awareness project when he went manic for the first time this year only. It’s been 7 months.

Awareness and self-awareness can solve a lot of problems.

And so can validation from others.

People who say mental illnesses is an exaggerated concept should talk to me. I will show them reports how real and physical it can be.

My father was figurehead of his family and always considered a strong personality.

Him asking questions like a child is heart breaking. He kept on asking about my flight and was literally counting days, even hours.

He is still afraid of even talking to people.

For now everything will be going on a break. There are tons of things I need to look into including meeting his doctors.

I have been doing my homework since months. I just didn’t tell him because being in another country I could trigger something that the rest of the family would have to handle. I knew my silence will be judged but it was better for him.

Now he sounded he is ready to talk about it. He is my father I am sure he is making a list.

I might be needing help from some you too. He could be wanting to know someone with bipolar disorder. I am still not sure how to do this. I will see once I am with him.

Right now I just don’t know.

I will keep writing here. Where else can I go to balance out chaos?

Thanks to each one of you who helped me clear my concepts by sharing their story. I had to pause reblogs because I was going through a lot in my own life and had to prioritize.

And I do have some plans to take the whole project one step forward but I want to be very careful.

You guys are like my family. I do want to raise awareness but I know how mean the world can be, I don’t want to give them an opportunity.

I don’t even know what exactly I had to say.

Just, listen to people around you and try to be there for them.

Mental illnesses are illnesses. Like any other illness they do need the right treatment.

that’s all for now.

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awarenesswhere I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

Copyright © 2018 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

23 thoughts on “Needed to speak.

Add yours

  1. Hey, family comes first. I am sure we do all have enough understanding of the topic. I’ve been here for… around a year with you and I know from where do you come from. Do what you can and say Hi to him from me. He doesn’t know me, and I don’t have some serious issues, but the human touch can be used for healing. Take care dear.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was surprised when he said it. He is always discussed each and everything with me and he couldn’t look me in the eye last time I met him. It is huge progress I just hope everything goes well. This is first time we have seen something like that happening so he is still confused.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Remember that people like Stephen Fry have bi polar disorder. It is an illness, not the person. In the same way that people can have chronic diseases such as diabetes. He may have had it all his life and something has triggered this episode. Hopefully he will be able to be himself again. Xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. We lost our mother to cancer last year. They had always been one unit. The day he went manic he was standing at the door, it was their first wedding aniversary after mom. In his head he knew she is coming back.
      This is just one part. I dont even have strength to tell the rest. This is so devastating.
      He is making remarkable progress. His doctors say it’s a miracle.


  3. I’ve been tied up from reading those I follow. I’m glad you are going to keep writing for you bring the real of living on this sight. As much as some want to stay away from the real things of mental illness and aging, we must not walk away. Instead we must lean a hand or an ear. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

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