Last year Franz Kafka.
Then German expressionism/ expressionism and Edward Munch.
Now Edgar Allen Poe
And these literary and artistic obsessions topped with cherry of incredible female killer documentaries..
Hmm..Where is this all going?
I seriously wonder why police haven’t knocked the door yet given the suspicious nature of my searches.
Well. I am glad they haven’t.
Or maybe they are just like me.
Maybe we all are drawn to darkness or at least some part of us find it amusing.
But I will have to admit this got intensified last year only. So this might be just a phase.
Sometimes I want to paint a room all matte dark blue and sit in the corner of it and just be with myself.
Heck my gray matter is turning black and blue.
But it’s a metamorphosis in it’s own right.
I didn’t go out to look for such morbid inspirations.
They pull you in their world. Where gloom mysteriously starts to excite you.
I know sounds psychotic but happens.
We hit new pinnacle of maturity every time we accept something about ourselves that we feared we might have hidden deep inside and keep denying it
Fawned upon choices.
Distorted abstraction.
Erratic expressions.
It’s like touching your chest and your heart leaps out to feel it and you realise is not that cute red shape we have been drawing all along.
Soul is not always irredencent silhouette.
And it’s not always black nasty demon.
It’s abstract and intense.
It’s beautiful.
This triple D (death, darkness and doom) obsession initially bothered me but it had broken walls and made windows in my mind.
I like these new rays of light illuminating spaces I never knew existed.
I am enamored of inky stillness of this matte blue room.
…
Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.
Copyright © 2018 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved
Written for Your Daily Word Prompt – Incredible and Fandango’s One Word Challenge – Erratic
Stoner on a rollercoaster 
A “morbid fascination”, truly. I have Cabinet of Dr Caligari on DVR right now. Never was big on Kafka, though. Tourneau or Mourneau or some such did Caligari. My own bedroom/office space is a medium blue, satin coat, and not by choice. it was the previous owner’s fav color. The yard furniture matched that color, so doubtless they bought more than one gallon of that shade. During the initial phase of my recovery from bi-polar, I was consumed by sexual daydreams. That went on a very long time. Luckily that faded. The year after, I read something like 326 books, and they even put my name in the local newspaper. Lol. For the books; not the daydreams. True story. Free advice: focus on the concept “equilibrium” or “stasis”, having an environment that doesn’t trigger mood changes/outbursts. Also: my last psych appointment, me and the doc were talking about empowering the patient, giving the sufferer the tools to help him/her self. Its all a journey of self-discovery. You’ll find that you have some great traits and then some that are sort of juvenile, but never stop that process. Carl Jung had the process of “individuation” which partly explains why a lot of elderly people seem to have their stuff together better than the younger people, so in part is maturity, but the process takes time and self-examination. Good luck, my friend. Always enjoy your blog, too!
LikeLike
I am sorry I got to thing comment now. I saw it and I thought I already replied.
well. the reason I would prefer dreamless nights over the ones I would wake up terrified and confused or sad or guilty even though its not in my control.
woah. I own 118 books at the moment and I have to read more than half of those and don’t have time to read 326 could land you on tv.
thank God not for dreams.
I just re-read its daydream..now I am thanking God more. bi-polar or any mental illness can do things you never imagined would happen to you.
I try to balance out things as much as I can. I literally can write a book on it. in fact I already plan to add a self-help book to my incomplete folders of manuscripts.
you would believe I have been working on for past 2 years. its was a journey. its well documented on my blog too. it took a lot of trial and error but it did make me a stronger more focused individual. I know myself better and I have confidence that never existed.
times hardships take alot from you but they give you tons too.
thank you so much for reading and contributing your precious opinions they provide great insight. thank a lot 🙂
LikeLike
Oh and I have the complete Poe on Kindle. Can be had for either 4 or 6 bucks. all the short stories, all the novels, and a few biographies of him written by his contemporaries.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have so much unread material laying around and I still can’t stop gathering more. I am obsessive hoarder of words to the point of insanity sometimes. I was interested in biographies I listened to few videos on youtube. And then I was took a moment and realized I was just supposed to read about the bird raven and here I am…
Strange how we get carried away and lose track.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was just fun. I know, a strange word to describe my feeling. Capturing all my literary journeys an placing them into a realm of life which we all live day to day. Obscuring the dark and light and bringing in the grey between all of it. The sanity within the insanity. The societal expectations in contrast with the revelations of the soul. Beautiful and fun journey.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s not strange at all. Couldn’t have said it better. You worded it beautifully. Thanks 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always obsessed with Poe, Chopin, and my God Bukowski
LikeLiked by 1 person
Was just listening reading a Bukowski quote. Love his honesty.
LikeLike