Eerily happy..

So, here I am again to update you guys on today’s appointment.

Well. Who am I kidding…I just wanna talk. I have given Sam ear infection already, it’s your turn now.

So the appointment didn’t go as expected. Well it never does. And you don’t have choice other than just facing the this new assholish twist in your story.

For new people. I have chronic illness I am just waiting to leave me some day.

Well.

Today first thing I told surgeon was..you guys made me attend a family wedding like this, I am not going through this again so you better try to start fixing it now.

I actually said that but lacing it with smiles and giggles so that it doesn’t sound like a threat.

And then this doctor I just hate but have no option of avoiding dropped another bomb.

To keep it simple..he added few more procedures to an already stressful list that I took years to cover. And now I was at the end..

And then this..

Ok. Don’t really have choice.

Next I knew I was spiralling bad. It starts from why am I even trying to fix my life to why am I even alive.

Texted sam and unicorn from hospital what if I had a terrible meltdown or something. Someone had to know.

Next I knew I was eating like I have been starved.

Cried a little on my bad luck. That’s how people get away with it now. ‘We did nothing you are unlucky’

I stayed mute for a few hours. I pushed myself in a denial phase. I talked to no one about it. And I gave my brain a little rest. And went to a store for art supplies instead.

I had to get some pastel pencils. Rather than buying an off-the-shelf box I chose the colors I am gonna go for the most.

The process somehow diverted my mind as I had to chose from a shelf full of different colors. And trying them and selecting a few did help mellowing the effect of that bomb explosion.

Then I was high!! Yea high without any drugs. I mean it’s insane i am eating food then having green then eating food..then food again..

Then I called sam once I was home and tortured her ear for 1 and a half hour straight. God bless her with more strength to deal with me.

I am weirdly hyper.. and scarily happy..

I don’t know what’s going on..

…..

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

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You can connect with me on Instagram too @stoneronarollercoaster

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