How long have i been sleeping?
Submerged into this surreal slumber
Lost into valleys
Of my kingdom of dreams..
Light torches my eyes as i open them
Noises pierce my ears and slice my mind
My voice…i think i lost it..
How long it’s been?
Since the last time i looked at real world
With my sanity intact..and my senses functional
Did i die?? Have i been dead??
I have something on my arms..damp soil..
Like i have been buried..i can smell it..
Have i been crying?..my eyes are so puffy..
They feel like red hot pieces of burning coal
Everything’s blur and it hurts..
Have i been screaming??
My throat is sore..my lungs feel heavy..
I feel smothered…defeated..
The weather changed..when??
How come i didn’t see the chill of the night
Mellowing down.. the nights getting warmer..
What time is it..the clocks are frozen..
When did the needles stop??
I lost the track of time again..
There’s eerie silence in my cave
The walls are hiding something from me
There’s a secret behind every brick..
My footsteps dont sound like mine.
Whose steps are these??
Who is meandering my home .. wearing my body..
Whats happening?? Where was I captivated all along??
Which world do i believe now??
I feel i don’t belong to any of them..
Who am i??
….And where is she??
Copyright © 2018 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved
hugs. you seem very confused. I feel for you. I get confused too especially after a dissociative episode. love to you my friend!
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thanks hun. hugs for you too.
love to you too..hope we all get better and stay better.
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Your footsteps don’t sound like you…..that is very telling. Even if you were meandering your footsteps would still be recognizable as yours. I hope you will find you somewhere in the mist and the ether.
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I hope so too..but sometimes I feel I lost her forever. the fog was too dark she just got lost and tumbled down a cliff or something.
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You may find her or you may not. I emerged from a black hole I had fallen down into in my twenties and when I clambered out of that hole I was a different person and I have never looked back. Lots of good things and happy times have happened with the new person or perhaps I should say the “different” person. So don’t despair you may find her or you may find a new her. Either can be positive.
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Your words are really powerful. Sending you all the love. Hope you’ll find yourself again. 💕
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thanks hun. I hope so too.. 🙂
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Very powerful and solemn piece. I am wishing you well my dear, as I can read between the lines of confusion and sadness.
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thanks Beckie. just keep me in prayers. 🙂 I know you already do. just reminding. and thanks alot.
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Always! 🙂
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This is very powerful. I love it and wish you peaceful sailing.
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Thanks Lisa. hope you are doing well. 🙂 wish you the same. 🙂
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