Never Doing Self-Portraits…

So, I was watching tutorials, like I do pretty much all the time. And I came across a beautiful abstract portrait art tutorial done in Brilliant colors

I was mesmerized.

It is longest video that I patiently watched twice in a day.

The lady was teaching about how to draw self-portrait and the first step was to look at yourself under difference lights sources  to establish shades and highlights.

So, I said why not give it a shot, what could go wrong? it’s abstract.

So I stood in front of a mirror and switch on 1 light….and humiliated myself…

Switched another one on…nope…the problem persisted

Whichever light I switched on, my face divided between 2 sharp contrast…sounts cool right??


They both involved my nose.

Half of the face was big bright shiny nose, and the other half was its shadow.

The rest of my face was blurred somewhere miles away..

It was wierd.

Why God why??

I know some day tax authorities with hunt me down and mark my nose as a taxable asset.

I can built a factory on it.

Or maybe those rice paddies on hills.

or maybe a giant slide..

Gosh where is my mind wondering.


I am not exagerating. My childhood friend used to say “God forgot nose when he was making you. When you asked for it He threw a huge one from the sky and it landed on your face.

I never argued her on this..I just couldn’t.

When I was skinny, at least a decade back, I had just 2 things in side profile; a nose…and then suddenly hair…nothing in between..

Sometimes I feel my nose is the reason people treat me more like a guy (besides my blog name).

Girls have  delicate small noses. At least something that match the intricacy of their features.

And then there is me, a person attached behind a humongous nose.

It’s like the nose is the main course and rest of my face is like a small serving of the beans on the side in some fancy restaurant.. or just a few rocket leaves..

I give up..

I just give up..

I think I will resort to a reference image of somebody with a human nose..

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68 thoughts on “Never Doing Self-Portraits…

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  1. Hahaha 😀 you have a company here gal ! You talk about humongous nose 🙋🏼‍♀️ when I lose weight and when my face becomes thin ,nose is the only thing people could see on my face


  2. I have issues with my nose as well. Someone was introduced to me once and the guy says, “Oh, I know you, I’d recognize that nose anywhere!” What an ass! I was about 37 years old at the time. Geeze. Anyways, noses, poses, we have to let it go. I bet you don’t like yuor photo being taken either lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ahaha shit! hilarious and embarrassing. I am sure I would have said something equally humiliating to him too, he wouldn’t be able to get away with saying anything to my nose!

      yea..its hard to find a normal angle. my nose literally goes out of frame.


  3. I would say….embrace those extras…. I am graced with an ample bottom and after some years of conscious effort to disguise it, I threw away concern for the attitudes and opinions of others and stopped thinking about it altogether. You are you and I’m quite sure you are balanced just the right way

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I can totally relate. I guess you could classify my nose as having a “high bridge.” My friend in middle school told me one day that I had a bird nose. She said it looked like I had a giant bird beak. That comment stuck has stuck with me. I’m pretty self conscious of it. Embracing it has been a slow process. 🙂


  5. All I can suggest is more practice on your art, little less thinking about how you look and you look great. 😀 Keep your nose up Lieutenant Alyana, be proud of it as in ancient times, it was a sign of royalty. 😀 Besides, you asked me to refer to you as Sir, so… Stop giving yourself manly traits and put a flower in your hair. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. okay so you just said I need not to worry about my looks and I look great in the same sentence. that already speaks volumes. thank you.

      I am way too royal…well we do have royal ancestry thats of no use, they left nothing for us.

      when did I ask you to refer me as Sir??

      I am not putting a flower in my hair!

      Liked by 3 people

  6. Thank you for this honest post. I don’t have a large nose, but I do have big lips. My mother constantly pointed them out to me when I was a child. I’m totally self-conscious about them.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You could have this problem; a nose too small to be able to breathe properly. A nose that requires operations all through the life of the person just to enable them to sleep without dying.
    A proper sized nose is an asset. And proper means a good size. It means big enough to get all the scents in the surroundings (the scent of danger, of food, of friend or enemy). Be proud. Jean Reno has a beautiful nose. That French president – he had a beautiful nose (what was his comment when an assassination attempt failed? Such bad shots they couldn’t hit my nose broadside. Not an absolute quote).
    A nose is a nose is a nose with a job. and if you want to do a self-portrait, the light needs to come from both sides at once (if you want the face-on picture), or place two mirrors at an angle to each other and the light source (triangular, with you as the point).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for such elaborate comment i appriciate it.
      I have big nose still i have breathing issue. I require an spray to sleep which is temporary relief untill i go for surgery. And there is another surgery to be done on my face already so doctors are discussing what to do first. And they both are not for esthetic purpose.

      Weirdly enough still i have sharp sense of smell i can sniff and tell a bitter almond. Friends call it super nose.

      I can manipulate light but the the size of highlight and shadow was hillarious. Hence this post.

      I am never insecure about it if i sounded anything like that. I embrace every feature of mine as they all combined make me whole and complete.

      Thanks alot for thoughtful comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you – I wish I knew you when I was growing and distilling rose oil. The best parfumiers said I needed a better ‘nose’ to work for me to get the best results!
        Long time ago now, though, but the value of the sense of smell can be the sense most people are willing to forgo or dismiss. Not to me – I can’t smell anything (and there was a gas leak here the other day!)
        The surgery is for sinus? I hope it goes well.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yea. Its only me in my family and inherited it grandpa. Nobody else has super nose ☺

        Shoot! Thats sounds scary. I cant smell food burning. I dont know why that happens. By the time i can smell it its already burnt to tar.


      3. Yes the sinus bone i dont know if i am saying it right is tilted so badly that it has completely blocked one side. From outside it looks normal but inside is just blocked.
        And the other one is for my autoimmune that involves sinus and eye yea alot of drilling to be done on face 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. noses are not easy to draw. even thin I had a rounded chin and though my nose was short, my profile always reminded me of daffy duck. sighs. ah well. so I drew everyone around me — but not myself.

    Liked by 1 person

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