I am failing

Its almost time
When i have to go
Go back to my mental prison
I tried
I swear upon your beautiful smile
I tried
I tried to be here
I tried to keep smiling
I tried to harden my heard
To a point where it started cracking
I was conflicted
Torn
By the raging battle
Between reasons and emotions
I swear upon your bravery
I tried to be there for someone
Who was far more broken than anyone
Someone
Who lost his heart
And everything
And himself
I slept where u slept
Breathing your scent
Feeling your warm comforting arms
Hearing your voice
Seeing you floating around home
Busy and beautiful
I tried to unsee the fact
Unfeel the damage
Unhear low mourning cries
Of my soul
Stifled by the love of people you left behind.
But what is this
The wails are slicing my soul
By heart is crumbling
Falling apart
I cant see you
Your scent has nailed me to the bed
I am scared
Petrified
To cross the door of my room
That i might lose you
To cross the gate
Where you stood and waved goodbye
Everytime
Until i was out of sight
How am i going to cross that gate
What if i lose you??
I am failing…

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