4 shoulders

A tragic realization has just downed on me recently
A few people on different occasion have told me you can’t live alone.
I feel its better to live alone peacefully
Rather than living in chaos and hatred.
People gave me mom’s example. There were unbelievable number of people present on her funeral. We dont even know who came who didnt.
The reason??
She always lived on the terms and conditions of everybody else.
She was simple submissive obedient woman.
People told me if you try to live on your own you die alone.
In old age there will be nobody to stand by your side.
This is so not fair!!
Are we supposed to stifle our own voice just so that there will be more shoulders carrying our casket??
Or the fear of being left alone in an a frail crumbling chapter of our life is enough to convince us ‘do what people say or they will leave you’??
What if we do everything they want and in the end they still leave us?
What if they dont show up at all at our funeral??
These questions i don’t dare ask.
I have no energy to listen to useless explanations that sound like fairytale but are plain WRONG!

I asked sam ‘can u arrange 4 people to shoulder my casket’
‘I will. Don’t worry. Do what you want’ she said without looking at me.

So this is what it boils down to..
your whole life babysitting stupid fragile egos
And Dancing to the orders disguised by the term ‘expectations’ earn you…just shoulders.

Copyright Β© 2017 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

24 thoughts on “4 shoulders

    1. “And Dancing to the orders disguised by the term ‘expectations’ earn you…just shoulders”

      I agree with Murtle here – even if you do share your space, you do not have to live up to anyones expectations but your own – keep your boundaries no matter what – at the end of the day, its your life, and someway or another, you will get those “char Kandhe” (4 shoulders)

      Liked by 1 person

  1. So many issues piled into this post- very heartfelt. Your mom sounds like she was a nice person. As the policeman told me after the con man stole my money – nice people make good targets. Your mom meant well. Sounds like she lacked the healthy boundaries to have meaningful relationships – the ones that give back and don’t drain you. There are no absolutes. There are times for being alone and times for relationship. Both can be good and bad. Hopefully, in the end, we grow through it all. Sorry for your lost. Your pain is well described.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with what policeman said. I have seen worse happening to good people while horrible ones were having fun.
      Mom was a classic housewife of olden times didnt have a voice of her own.
      Absolutely right. Everything happens on its own time.

      Thanks fot stopping by and commenting πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There are two ways to comply to this. Either you submit to stupid ass people, or you find yourself the right kind of bunch. Not the kind that necessarily holds the same views as you, but people who appreciate difference of opinion and know how to coexist.
    I used to believe that I can live alone. But I passed through my phase and I realised living along is not the solution, living with right kind of people is. We need love to keep our hearts alive, appreciate that. Its not weakness, its beautiful. ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Even though I still read your post twice, I loved reading all the comments more today. LOL. Let all of us non-conformists unite! In my opinion there is a difference between being alone and being lonely and there is also a difference between quantity and the quality of friends. Don’t you think? PS. you are wiser then your years. Do not stifle your voice. I’ll bet your mom loved that about you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Honestly my mom didnt like me being outspoken at all. πŸ˜†
      You made me thing over difference between lonely and alone…i am definitely not lonely πŸ™‚
      Yup there is no point of having thousands of people who call themself your friend when they are nothing even close i just stopped thinking about it. It took tones of strenght to let go of a few who didn’t want to stay.. but just a few.
      The rest are angels πŸ™‚
      I am not stifling my voice at all but definitely guarding it from vultures πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I live alone! Well, not exactly ALL ALONE, because there are two little rotten dogs (I have no clue HOW they got SO spoiled, but they are!). But still, they keep me, their servant and housekeeper and bowl filler, busy! Having lived with others, having lived alone, and having with with others, feeling alone, I can tell you, living alone has its perks. Oh sure, you can OCCASIONALLY wish you weren’t alone, or feel a tad lonely, and maybe even wonder, just how many days would your corpse be laying on the floor before someone came to check on you? I figure as long as my Mom is alive, I probably could do 3 days……5 if she’s mad at me (this is a 50/50 shot on any given day!) before the door would be kicked in and the flies let out! However, I will need no shoulders to be lifted up, just someone who can lift a marble urn and drop a plastic bag of ashes in it, till someone either casts me to the winds, or puts me in with them! Sooooooo…..do not really even need the shoulders either! And even if I did, well, keeping all the foolishness that comes with most people is certainly not enough to make me want to live with someone just to have a pallbearer! And besides, won’t the funereal home arrange that if you are in need? Hardly worth the left up toilet seat, or wet towels on the floor or skid marked underwear, is it? Yeah, I didn’t think so either! Besides, there are not that many people who like me enough to visit me as it is, now I want a live in? UH NO! Thank you! I prefer things just as they are. You have your place, I have mine! And until I can find someone who can mesh with me long enough (fat chance of THAT!) to make it through a holiday, I’ll stick to visitors on occasion and if I feel the need to torture myself, I can just go outside and talk to a few people, I’ll coming running back home soon enough! There is something to be said for peace and solitude, I’ll take mine with a cup of coffee on the back deck or down at the hot tub with a glass of wine at the hot tub!


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