Fear or Aggression?

As strange as this may sound.. That day was as normal as any day of my life. As normal as breathing oxygen drinking water…

I reached the exam center 45 minutes early. No, I am not talking about reporting time. I was there 45 minutes before reporting time.

I found an empty bench in the enormous ground of school and sat on its extreme right. Looking calm and collected, restless inside. And prayed that my friends arrive soon. When I say collected I literally mean compressed in my own self. Legs joined like a mermaid, arms so straight my elbows touch my sides. Everything I had was suffocating in my tight confused grip. Eyes fixated on the floor..motionless.

Every passing minute felt like an eternity.

Suddenly I felt weight on the other end of the bench. Then I heard somebody drop things on the bench. My heartbeat quickened I tried to stay normal. Whatever normal was at that moment.

Then weight added. Another person…

Now there are two of them. I was making mental notes.

I heard somebody talking in soft low voice but there was so much noise in the ground I am still not sure if it was them.

Another weight…right next to me but there was a slight gap between us. I raised my head and looked straight. My jaw tightened so did my grip on my bag.

My senses sharpened, I was on high-alert. I could hear them breathe. And every single breath they took added explosives to my blood. Pinch by pinch.

The legs next to me were wearing grey pants..a student…I didn’t turn to look. The eyes in my ears saw that. People say I can see from my ears and I don’t disagree.

1 move!! 1 move and somebody’s gonna lose a tooth at least.

I heard giggles..hush hush voices..it was them. All 3 of them!

1 move is all I need..

I don’t want to do this please don’t make me… I blinked and my eyes burned as memories Recreated in my mind.

I was fidgeting madly..

Volume increasing…I don’t like this!!!

My right ear caught something… my friends laughing like hyenas!!

Well..guess somebody else is losing a tooth!

They were dying laughing as they moved towards me. My stress aggression everything melted away. But now I was annoyed!

Sam: ahahah…look at your face…seriously???

Me: Shut the..where were you guys???

Sam: What??? We are on time sweetheart..actually still early thanks to you!!

Me: You guys are late (I wanted to cry, my voice trembling)

Sam: Jaan there’s still 30 minutes in reporting time. When did you come?? Last night??ahah

Me: Shut up!!

Sam: What happened??… (her smile started to fade and she composed herself. she knows me more than I know myself)

Me: i…I don’t know..i just..(I was stammering again).

Sam  grabbed my shoulders and shook me a little. All this time I totally forgot about people sitting on my bench. Sam and Emm (another friend of mine) were standing right in front of me. And they knew it wasn’t funny anymore. Nobody was laughing.

Sam’s nudge did straighten me a little.

Sam: Did you have a fight??

Me: Not yet!

Sam. Then it’s cool. Ok??

Me: yea..

Sam: lets go to café. We have plenty of time and I am hungry. And I don’t think any of us is revising.

I got up and we walked towards the café. Without looking back.

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