I am so fucking miserable right now I can’t even explain
A friend recommended me ‘13 reasons why’, the book, and I call her and said “what the fuck have I done to you?? Why did you do this to me”. She said, “It’s a good book” and I said, “I know it’s brutally, painfully true, it’s good but painful” I was already facing depression and anxiety.
Few days back some guy posted on reddit asking for some quotes he wanted to add to a lyrical suicide note he planned to leave for his family. My comment was…”imagine your family leaving such a note for you..how do you feel now???”
And now this!
Chester Bennington is gone.. He hanged himself… like that news of his death wasn’t heartbreaking enough!
Linkin Park has idol status for a lot of people of my circles. We were addicted to their music all our student life. Something that helped us train to crunch numbers like crazy.
Their songs were anthems of my student life.
Well.. how do I unsee this???
First an icon is gone..
2nd… he took his own life…
I know life sucks! It does
But why end it???
If you weren’t supposed to live you would be dead already.
We all have been through a phase when we have contemplated suicide on a serious note at least once.
I have too!
I have a long list valid of reasons to wish I was dead
Final nail was my heath! I have autoimmune, its detail alone required 8- 10 separate posts.
Only thing that prevented me to act was my faith. Suicide is strictly prohibited in Islam. You cannot even think about it. It’s such a big sin. It’s unforgiveable.
The logic behind is hope. You cannot lose hope. You are supposed to believe in God and his might and believe that things will get better.
That’s what stopped me.
It’s easier to escape. Run away.
But it’s not an option
C’mon! think about people we are leaving behind.
I will keep on ranting…
For all of us… please live and let live!
Stop poking your nose in everybody’s lives!
Stop unnecessarily pressurizing youngsters… that’s where the seed is sowed.
Stop imposing your opinion and decisions and concepts on everybody else.. our brains haven’t come out of some machine..we all are different.
Let people chose for themselves!
Look around…people may be in need of your help..maybe they are just not asking for it!
Be kind..be considerate…it doesn’t kill anybody
And for people who are thinking about ending their lives….
Please please please DON’T!
You have no idea what you leave behind.
It’s devastating to your friends and family.
I know .. Again I know you do have reasons.
But try to fix them.. if you can’t… leave the place and the environment…ignore the problem and its root. Sometimes it works!
In the worst mental state you know what worked… I would force my mind to drift to another place.
A happy place where things are better. Or just an imaginary world.
Sometimes it’s just the matter of time..
This too shall pass…do not lose hope!
I don’t know if I can do anything but if anybody needs a friend, needs to talk to somebody I am always here to lend ears. I don’t have much to do in life I can always listen and talk.
I can go on and on and on…
Please take care of yourselves and people around you.
A little compassion doesn’t hurt.
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