I am an idiot who finds solace in tracing old friends.
I don’t sit there preparing my research paper on their lives like a silent stalker… I talk to them.
But when I do it apparently I end up fueling their ego.
I have a 3 chances rule. If they don’t reply in first attempt its over there and then. If they sound uninterested I give the benefit of doubt then I try twice more. If I feel unwelcomed and I feel it’s becoming a one sided thing, I quit!
Then there are folks that you never lost touch with but it’s only you who is making an effort.
You feel like a koala that is clinging to the tree when tree is doing nothing for the poor guy.
No matter how considerate and loyal you are, no matter what opportunity cost you bear to stay with them, they never reciprocate.
You end up feeling the moment you will step back you might never hear from them ever.
This is bizarre and tragic.
They don’t realize you are giving them your precious time, you are worried about them when you could be worried about anything else in the world. You are truly giving them a Portion of yourself.
For long lost friends I stick to my 3 chances rule.
But for bottomless pits who do nothing except draining your energy and sanity, I don’t walk away but I go mute!
You have to climb down that tree and look for something that would at least hug you back.
Copyright © 2017 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved
I love the Title. I also though love Kaola’s!! They are super cute. Great post!!
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I love koalas too!
And i am very prone to koala situation 😀
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And thanks 🙂
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Yep ✌out, Lisa
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🙂
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The koala is very adorable, loving the way that you bring out your post, with those words of yours, I am indulged fully into your thoughts and feelings. Hope to see more from you. Have hope, write on!
I really do feel like a koala at times. haha.
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Thanks alot for the comment. Means alot. 🙂
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You are welcome 🙂
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that koala and tree part was so good
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Ahaha yeah… sums it up accurately 😀
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Love this! I find that it is more rewarding to have a few true friends than hundreds of acquaintances!
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I so agree!
I am a bit sensitive person so i end up giving chances to people but at one point you have got to stop.
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I came up with an analogy that I call the stagnant pond theory. I should probably write about it. 😜When a pond is not fed it dries up and disappears. Friendship is much the same.
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You have to write about it. I look forward to it 🙂
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It took until I hit 40 to realize that life is too short to keep giving, only to be left with hurt and disappointment. It takes two to have a relationship. It takes two to have conflict. I like to keep my pond fed with happiness!
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I have realised it i am gradually trying to accept it now. Trying to convince myself that you have to draw a line before a relationship completely drains you. Its easier to say but its important to implement for your own mental health
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Take care of you and focus on friendships that feed you and bring you joy! 💚
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Thanks for being around 🙂
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And thank you!!
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🙂
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I’ve been at both ends of what you are talking about. I still have a little trouble giving enough to others.
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What is it like being on the other end? What may be the reason? I want to know what they have on thier mind
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Hi stoneronarollercoaster. When I have neglected a friendship it was mostly because I was so ill that it was difficult for me to give anything to almost anyone. Sometimes even my own husband. Isolation has often been a characteristic of the more negative parts of my personal bipolar illness. I guess not all people with bipolar disorder are the same in this, though.
On a bipolar support group website there used to be a mood chart. The lowest mood’s description was “Depressed – Need my friends”. I remember thinking that they rarely applied to me. That when I was most depressed I hid away in my nook and isolated.
Unfortunately my isolation did ruin friendships. My inability to give as much as I got sometimes also contributed. I regret that. If I had it to do over again I would have tried harder.
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You have a valid reason. I completely understand. Been there done that.
But you can tell. And you never lose your genuine friends they understand when you need a break and need some time alone.
They wait for you.
After my 3 chances formula if somebody comes and tell.me thier reason to be that way i embrace them wholeheartedly and understand.
I dont walk away… i wait silently. I still dont shut the door.
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You seem like a reasonable, patient, and good friend.
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I dont know really… i came up with ‘koala situation’ because thats what i feel like in the end of the day.
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People are in our lives fir a reason a season or a lifetime…. I like your rule x
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Had to come up with some rule before getting my own self respect bulldozed 😀
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