Every now and then we encounter a new level of disappointment in life. And 95% of the times we are dejected because people didn’t see us or treat us the way we expected.
It took me time and experiences to understand the mechanism of expectations, Impressions and disappointments.
And all of it has come down to two basic concepts to avoid or Survive disappointments, which were explained by my Grandpa and a teacher really well:-
1st one came from my Grandpa. He used to say “you will find 2 types of people in life. 1 will be the ones who will reciprocate your every positive gesture. When you will be good to them they will be good to you.
2nd category is people who are never going be nice to you no matter what you do for them. In fact they mark you as stupid and naïve for being kind and will be even more inconsiderate towards you.
Stay away from such people! They are the ones who ruin us!”
So now I treat people the way they treat me. That’s it!!
Not a grain more not a grain less.
Makes my life so much easier when I don’t expect much.
Our management teacher taught us the 2nd He was quite a wise man. I remember his words very vividly.
He once said “people behave the way they are expected to behave. Tell a kid “your steal!” everyday and one day he will end up stealing and being a thief.”
This explains so much about human behavior. Tell somebody “you are a loser” and it will shatter all his confidence and talent.
So my second rule is that I treat people the way they expect me to treat them. I heard so many times crap about myself when I was actually nice.
Therefore I decided I won’t waste my time and energy trying to change their judgment about me.
Embracing such concepts saves us from a lot of unpleasant situations. Even if we fall into one, it becomes easier to survive.
Stoner on a rollercoaster 
The best approach….no doubt…
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post. I was brought up to ‘always return or pass on kindness’, which I do but I was also taught to ‘never expect anything from anyone’, which prevents those feelings of disappointment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am done with that phase. Now its “you will get what you are giving me” and “you will get what you expect from me”.
Doing good without expectations is impossible at times
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it can be. I also find, trying to workout the expectations of others frustrating because some of us unintentionally send out mixed messages. We are complex creatures & understanding the different personalities can be fascinating. I recently read a book Sacred Contracts by Carolyn Miss, it’s a great book.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The mixer msgs part is scary actually. We are really misunderstood at times. I agree
LikeLike