Why bother the storks??

I over-heard two random strangers talking at the boarding lounge of an airport. One of them must be in her 50s or 60s, let’s name her Lady-1 and the other one in her late 20s or early 30s, Lady-2.

Lady-1:  How long have you been married??

Lady-2:  Three years

Lady-1:  Any kids??

Lady-2:  No kids

Lady-1:  Oh! You will be blessed with one soon. I know this is so sad and I understand kids are the most beautiful gift of God.

Lady-1 had switched her that-one-relative mode on and this girl was sitting there nodding and forcing a smile with occasional “yea”. I could totally tell she stopped listening to her three minutes through the lecture.

In my head I am saying “no no no no no ma’am (Jesse Eisenberg style). She didn’t say she can’t have kids or she wants to have kids”.

But how do I explain this to the lady who is trying so hard to glorify motherhood that she sounds like that nurse who is coming to you with the sweetest smile possible, holding a giant needle in her hand and says “this is the most effective medicine we have and this is not going to hurt at all.”

How do I enlighten this woman who was born and raised in a system where if a girl is born, parents start calculating her marriage expenses, looking for an eligible guy for her and praying that she gives birth to healthy, religious and obedient little Einsteins.

Lady-1:…did you get yourself checked?? There are so many treatments out there…

And then she started giving her numbers of fertility clinics. My eyes rolled, had a good look at my brain and returned.

I don’t blame lady-1, I pity her.

I wish I could ask her when was the last time she voiced her own opinion? And not something that was dictated to her by the norms.

I was 16 when I told my friends I want to have a daughter. I was actually planning to adopt a little girl. Over the time a realized motherhood is not just about carrying a life in you for 9 long months. It’s not restricted to bearing extreme pain of delivering a baby then holding a doll in your arms. It’s a lot more than all of this.

It’s not about you or the world. It’s about that tiny piece of flesh that will eventually grow up to be a person through your hands.

This also involves protecting the child from cruel mindset of our society and giving them space to grow into what they want from themselves. It’s also about protecting their opinion, passion and teaching them how to accept and respect other’s.

A friend recently said “my child will support me when I am old”. She was holding a 6-month old baby. For heaven’s sake!! He’s not a pension scheme!!! And you brought him to this world!!! His birth wasn’t his choice.

I may sound pessimistic here but why don’t you ask yourself a few questions before you plan to have a child.

Are you financially, socially, physically, mentally and emotionally  stable to raise a child?? Imagine one person you can always count on. Now, will that person raise your child when you are not around?? Will he/she be able to do what you always wanted to do for your kids?? do you really want this or you are Blindly following this as a cultural obligation??

 

Copyright © 2017 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

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11 thoughts on “Why bother the storks??

  1. Good points!

    I’m almost 46 and never had children. I didn’t even think about them in my youth because I had too many things going on in my life. They didn’t fit into my life. Then I was literally not emotionally stable enough to have kids. Now I’m more stable, but think I wouldn’t be able to offer a kid all of what they needed.

    I’m not the only childless woman my age that I know, but many are in somewhat similar situations as me. I don’t regret not having children. I guess I do wish I had someone very close to me when I get to be an old woman (if I make it), but I wouldn’t want to be a burden.

    Like

      1. I’m glad you posted about this. Actually, there is a lot to talk about on this topic. You’re right. It is one that sometimes receives a backlash. But few people talk about what childless couples experience. And I’m not talking about “regret for not having children”. I’m talking about what you wrote about and even to some small degrees isolation. You can’t imagine how sad it was when my friends started having kids and I became an “outsider”. I don’t hate children, but they are not the center of my universe. Some mothers go from being women to only mothers. I wish more would be both.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You r so right. I cant see people using thier kids as thier old-age insurance or they expect the kids to pay them back for bringing him up. Its sad n unfair to the child. If you bring him up nicely he/she will take care of u.
        And then there are people who bring kids to stabilize thier marriage. I mean cmon.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent point…I don’t believe one should have a child without considering the enormous responsibility. I used to work in a fertility clinic and the couples there used to surprise me. They would spend so much money and time trying to have a child of their own. They were desperate. Still they refused to consider adoption as an option. There are so many children in this world in need of love and guidance. What is so special about your genetics anyways?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent point. People shouldn’t have kids as part of a routine. It is an enormous responsibility.
    I used to work at a fertility clinic. The couples there would spend so much time and money trying to have a child of their own. They were truly desperate, yet they refused to even consider adoption as an option. There are so many orphans in the world, in desperate need of love and guidance. So, why not? What is so special about their genes anyways?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think even before adoption u need to ask urself all of these questions. U r bringing a life home. Its not a toy. I have heard ridiculous reasons and explanation of people having kids.
      I dont mean to discourage people from having/adopting kids but this must not be treated as an obligation. Its should be like…ok we got married now what? Lets have kids.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes the 35 and under women tend to get unwanted advice sometimes so that can be a little challenging. I agree it definitely is a lot of responsibility and some people need to mentally prepare for that huge responsibility of having a child. Also, thank you for reading my post! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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